Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
