I'm drive I can fine osifer
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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