The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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