How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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