i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
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Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
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There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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