Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize