dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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