Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
