I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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