I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
