found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
