We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
