i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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