ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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