Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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