i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
