why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
