Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
