Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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