For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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