hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
