I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
