And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
