is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
