What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
