I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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