shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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