oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
