maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Found your dick twin last night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
