at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
