Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
