I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
