I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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