there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
