community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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