Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
