Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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