My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
