my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
