I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
