I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
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I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
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Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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