is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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