Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize