He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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