someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize