I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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