Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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