lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
