if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
bring money and cleavage
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize