if i can run in heels then i can drive
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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