He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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