and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
