I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
