Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
