I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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