Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
