I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize