I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize