worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
